A whole new world

  It was as though, this new world demanded one speak a foreign language, use different punctuation and quickly learn your place, however everyone had a different take on how things should be.  Like a child lost in a candy store, I was excited and overwhelmed by this new world; but how much of it was true?  As I wandered from cyber room to cyber room, it was all a little confusing, having to Cap a Dom's nic, and not a sub's, simple words like you and I, now became You and i.  Everyone had advice; many a Dom offered to train me, to mentor or protect me; from what I thought?  I would often get booted from chat rooms for saying the wrong thing, as though these people didn't have a sense of humour, which just didn't work with my sassy, sarcastic personality.   Still I found myself coming back for more.  Not long after becoming a regular to these online rooms I ran into a Dom I will call Mr. T.  He was blunt, aggressive and abrasive, but he was also a straight shooter.  He was an asshole, bastard, fucker....but, I could tell simply from his words that he told it like it was and I liked him, grouchiness and all. The "respectful" way of punctuating ones words was out the window with him, as he stated that he would rather see intelligence, proper grammar and punctuation than bull shit, but I was already "trained" to this new way of typing that it was almost second nature by the time we ran into each other, it was even appearing in some of my school papers.  I had been booted out of enough rooms to pick up the habit, so it wasn't easy to let go.  It was one thing I could do to show respect so when we chatted though he would tease me about it, he allowed my habit to continue.   We would spend countless hours chatting, at this point I still have not met anyone in real life.  He laughed at the idea of some random stranger "training me", pointing out that it made more sense for the one that I would be collared by.  In his mind each Dom or Master would have their own desires and needs and therefore any training done by another would need to be undone, creating more work.  That being said, he stated that he could tell that I was a social girl and he could see the benefit of me getting out into the real world to learn for myself the difference between what people say online and how things are done in real life. " But what if some Dom wanted to use me, what was I to do?"  He laughed and said that he enjoyed the thought of some loser getting his hands on me and fucking me up, but if I used my head I would never find myself in such a situation.  Don't play the victim like so many of these damsels in distress; so called submissive, manipulative bitches play. Be empowered by what you want and don't just give it away because some fucktard calls himself a Dom.  OK; I was confused on one hand he wants some guy to "fuck me up" and on the other he is telling me to be smart.  Over the next several years I would learn that this is one way that Mr. T would communicate with me, throwing contradictions my way letting me figure out what which scenario and consequences I could best deal with.  How was I any different than these "so called submissives", wasn't I too a manipulative bitch?  Everyone was so hung up on titles, asking if one was a sub or a slave, hell I didn't know.  For everything I didn't know, he always seemed sure of himself.  Very early on Mr. T told me that he would always own a small piece of me.  I would think sure you will you cocky, ass, (not so submissive of me).  The more I chatted with others, the more genuine Mr. T seemed to me, he was arrogant without a doubt, but he was real and if it weren't for the fact that I am from Alberta, Canada and he is way down south in Missouri, U.S.A, I knew I would be putty in his hands.  I would give myself to him fully and completely.  Hoping beyond hope that he would have the best of intentions and that although he would push and prod me, maybe cracking and chipping away at me, that he would never break me beyond repair, in fact under him I believed that I could be not only a better sub or slave but a better person.  It scared me to be so overwhelmed by the desire to just give myself over to another, especially to a man I had never met.