I thought I was going to write this blog in chronological order, and though I am still sticking with that idea, some posts are a little bit out of order, but over all these life experiences have made me who I am today and have somehow contributed to my desire to explore BDSM.
One of the first Dom's I ever met one on one, was Kirk. He was a few years older than me, but we were close enough in age to have had similar life experiences. He was between jobs and didn't have a car. As nice as Kirk was, I had a difficult time seeing him as a Dom. I may come across materialistic, but I jut believe that any man Dom or not should be able to bring a minimum of what I bring to the table.
I wasn't one to give up easily, but when weeks passed without him finding work, his lack of motivation spoke louder to me than any words I heard him say. Kirk was a nice enough guy, so I was still open to hanging out. We went out one night with a group of my friends and he got totally wasted drunk, was acting like a fool. I knew not only could I could never submit to such a man, I couldn't really respect him either. We were club hopping that night and at each bar, Kirk just got more and more intoxicated. I was easy going enough to brush it off, but his hanging off of me and making rude comments to anyone and everyone was more than my friends could take. As we were entering a new club, unknown to me, one of my friends whispered to the bouncer not to let Kirk into the club, he was still stumbling to get out of the cab and I didn't really pay attention to what was going on. Next thing I know, I was having a great time, and asked if anyone had seen Kirk. Someone said he had gone home, which was a relief for me. He called me the next day to ask why I left him outside the club and what a shithole it must of been because the bouncers wouldn't let him in. I found out later that my friends had, had enough of Kirk's obnoxious ways and made sure he didn't get in.
I was trying to desperately to hold out for that deep D/s relationship that I read about but seldom saw. I was always surrounded by the temptation and offers to play. The desire to play and experience this lifestyle I would at times lower my standards, which I never felt were too high, just to feel something.
It was almost 10 years ago that I went to my first real play party. Lilly had rented a hall and was providing a traditional Ukrainian Christmas meal, which she and her friends cooked and served. She had a friend bartending and a portion of the hall was sectioned off as a dungeon which was filled with was all kinds of different pieces of furniture and equipment. Ms. Lee and I agreed to go to event together, there was something nice about not walking into something like that alone. As the song goes the weather outside was frightful and Lilly's Master, who was a truck driver was running behind because of road conditions, so supper was going to be delayed until he arrived. This gave us a chance to explore the dungeon and mingle. Ms. Lee and I got our pictures taken in front of a St. Andrew's cross, I even stood on it, but I was too nervous to be strapped to it. (it's funny to think back on how cautious I was back then) .
This night was an evening of meeting many people for the first time. There was Rose; who I had seen in chatrooms before. She was a friend of Lilly's and was a collared slave to a Master in another province. I had a hard time understanding how this relationship worked beyond the internet because Rose was bound to her wheel chair because of MS. It wasn't that Rose was in a wheelchair that made me question the relationship, and I couldn't pin point what it was, but something didn't sit right with me, when it came to her and her relationship with her Master. I later found out that Rose was taking pornographic pictures of her child for this man. They both were arrested. Their Master/slave relationship came up in court and sympathetic court system never made Rose do any prison time. The whole thing was disgusting to me. Just because a person is disabled, or identifies themselves as a sub or slave in my opinion these things do not give you the right to abuse a child and people should be punished to the fullest extent of the law if such things do occur.
There was Ann and her Master Mike and a cute lil chick they had with them. I was at a party they were having and I spent the night flirting with that cute lil chick, but never saw her again after that. Though I don't see them often Ann and Mike were what I would consider a "normal" couple. I still see them at events around town.
There was Larry who I would see on occassion in chatrooms, he often came across as a grouchy bear, and in real life he also lived up to the impression I had of him. He was married to a submissive woman, but she didn't sub for him, because she couldn't handle him as he put it, so she subbed for another Dom and Larry had a young pain slut as his sub. Another relationship dynamic I had a difficult time wrapping my head around, but I had gotten to the point where I came to realize I didn't need to understand, approve or disapprove of anyone, their relationship or how they lived their lives, I just needed to figure out what worked for me. Being surrounded by so much dysfunction did discourage me at times. I often thought I will never find a "normal" relationship in the lifestyle. One thing I could appreciate about Larry was that he was a very talented man and he made beautiful floggers. He was selling floggers that evening and he had a soft pink, suede one. It was beautiful. He said that from all my talk of loving the color pink in the chatrooms he thought I would appreciate it. I didn't have anyone to flog me, but $40.00 I now had my very own flogger. Larry ended up passing away from Cancer and though I did not know him well I know many people in the community were touched by his life. When I see my pink flogger I think of him.
I was introduced to Dale and Norma. He was a man of few words, but he was beautiful, with his chiseled features and long blond hair. She was much more open, and out going. I would later be invited to their home to explore the possibility of being a sister slave. Though I can admire the beauty of another woman, I am not really into women, so I was more into him than I was ever into her, and because of their relationship dynamic I was creating unnecessary drama in their lives. It was a few intense weeks, but in the end I walked away.
I met Ken and his sister Terry. They had both been exploring the lifestyle, separately and one day discovered they were into the same thing. They said it was a little weird to find that out about each other at first, but it had become a non issue. Ken I and would become friends, we would hang out, go to events together and even just out for dinner together. Terry ended up finding her soulmate in the lifestyle and they had their collaring ceremony at an outdoor play party they held every year. It was at one of their play parties that I met my Master/husband.
Though neither of us played, we both met some really great people. I had my pink flogger that I bought from Larry and as a door prize I also won one of Paula's rope floggers. Over all Ms. Lee and I agreed that the event was a success.
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